Marriage Is 100/100: Why Soulmates Are Made

There’s this song I absolutely love—Made by Spencer Crandall. He sings about how soulmates aren’t found; they’re made. And that we choose each other every single day.

Honestly, if you haven’t heard it yet, go listen to it. If you have heard it, go listen again. There’s something about the way he captures the truth of relationships that just hits different.

Because here’s the thing: marriage (or any serious relationship) is work. Real, honest-to-goodness work. It’s not always candlelight dinners and weekend getaways. A lot of the time, it’s managing your own emotions while your partner is managing theirs, both of you trying to navigate the messiness of life together.

When I was growing up, people used to say, “Marriage is 50/50.”
Now that I’ve lived a little, I can tell you—that’s a myth.

Marriage is 100/100.

If either one of you is only half-invested, it makes it so much harder to get through the rough patches. Both of you have to be fully committed—not just when things are fun and easy, but especially when they’re messy and hard.

And let’s be real… there are days I haven’t exactly liked my spouse. I still loved them, but I didn’t like them in that moment. And I know there have been times they didn’t like me either. The thing that kept us going wasn’t always warm fuzzy feelings—it was commitment. Love that says, I’m not leaving, even when it’s tough.

Life isn’t a Disney fairytale. There’s no magic wand that makes you “live happily ever after” without putting in the effort. There will be days when giving up feels like the easier option. But if you’re all-in, if you’ve given that 100%, love becomes the thing that pulls you back to the table to work it out.

Too often, we fight over the wrong things. Little things. Things that, in the grand scheme of life, don’t matter nearly as much as keeping your relationship strong. Instead of fighting over “nothing,” fight for your marriage. Sometimes that means fighting your own ego—swallowing your pride and admitting that you might be part of the problem.

So, if you’re feeling discouraged, let me give you two suggestions:

1. Go listen to Made by Spencer Crandall.

2. If things feel too heavy to carry alone, seek out a counselor or therapist who can help you navigate the rough waters.

Soulmates aren’t found. They’re made. Every single day. By two people who keep showing up, keep choosing each other, and keep doing the work—together.